One thing I’m seeing more and more with personal trainers who are struggling to grow their business is simple, but brutal:

A crippling fear of rejection.

Or even just looking stupid. Being judged.

Screwing up publicly.

Sound familiar?

Now, the easy thing for me to do — like most people in my position — would be to offer you some cookie-cutter, inspirational quote or a hollow "just push through it" pep talk.

But that advice rarely does anything, does it?

It’s trite. It’s surface-level. It treats the symptom, not the disease.

What actually matters is asking the better question:
 

WHY do so many coaches feel this way?

Because I believe the reasons are more diverse, more personal, and more complex than people think. And until we start getting honest about the root causes, the problem doesn’t go away. It just festers.

Why Do Coaches Fear Rejection and Judgment?

Through my own coaching, mentoring, and a lot of observation, here’s what I believe are two of the core drivers of this fear:

1. Lack of Proof of Concept (No Real-World Evidence You Can Survive It)

For a lot of people, fear comes from the unknown.
They’ve never made the sales call.
They’ve never posted the personal opinion.
They’ve never pitched the offer on a livestream.
So their mind fills in the blanks with worst-case scenarios:

• "I’ll embarrass myself."

• "People will laugh at me."

• "No one will buy."

• "I’ll be exposed as a fraud."

The solution?
You need evidence that you can survive doing the thing you're terrified of.

You need your first shitty Instagram story.
You need your first awkward sales conversation.
You need your first ‘no’ on a call without spiraling into self-doubt.

Each time you do it, and you don’t die, your brain learns.
It recalibrates.
You build what's known as psychological proof of concept:
"I can do scary things. I can survive rejection. I can iterate and get better."

This isn't sexy advice.
It’s not a quick fix.
But it’s real. And it’s one of the only real solutions.

2. A Nervous System That Doesn't Feel Safe

Here's a concept most business coaching programs completely miss:
Some people aren’t struggling because they’re lazy or "don’t want it enough."
They’re struggling because their nervous system — their body — literally doesn’t feel safe enough to take action.

Trauma.
Burnout.
Chronic stress.
Negative past experiences.

All of these can put your body in a permanent "fight, flight, or freeze" state.
When you're operating from that place, risk feels bigger. Danger feels closer.

Taking the leap feels impossible, not because you don't want to — but because your body is screaming NO.

You can tell yourself "just do it" all you want.
But if your body perceives the action as unsafe, it will override your best intentions every time.

The solution here isn’t more hustle.
It’s not another Gary Vee clip.

It’s nervous system regulation.
Things like:

• Breathwork

• Meditation

• Somatic practices

• Therapy

• Body-based trauma work

• Real rest (not scrolling your phone and calling it "downtime")

When your body feels safe, you naturally become more willing to take risks.
You feel more resilient.
You can actually put yourself out there without your subconscious hijacking the experience.

Another Emerging Theory (Not Fully Baked Yet)

I also have another theory — it’s not fully fleshed out, but it’s brewing.
It’s the idea that some people are secretly attached to the identity of struggling.

If you've struggled for long enough, it can start to feel...safe.

Familiar.

Like a part of who you are.

Stepping into success?
Getting noticed?
Being judged for something good instead of something bad?

That can feel just as uncomfortable — sometimes even more — than staying stuck.

I'm still thinking through the best ways to help people shift this.
But it’s something I’m paying closer attention to.

So...If You're Stuck, Ask Yourself This:

Are you lacking proof of concept?

• You simply haven’t done the thing enough times yet to feel safe doing it?

• If so, it’s about repetition and exposure, not motivation.

Or is your nervous system not ready yet?

• Your body doesn't feel safe enough to allow you to move forward?

• If so, it’s about healing and regulating before you add more "push."

Practical Ways to Start Moving Forward

Depending on where you sit, here are a few practical suggestions:

If you're lacking proof of concept:

• Set ridiculously small "exposure" goals. (e.g., one Instagram story this week.)

• Track it. Reward yourself for action, not outcome.

• Study people better than you. Reverse engineer their bravery.

If your nervous system isn't regulated:

• Start 5-10 minutes of daily breathwork (box breathing or long exhales).

• Cut caffeine if you're already anxious.

• Prioritize real, non-stimulating downtime every day.

• Get support: therapy, somatic coaching, nervous system education.

If you suspect you're attached to the struggle:

• Journal about who you are without the identity of "struggling coach."

• Visualize the "you" who succeeds easily. Notice the resistance that comes up.

• Normalize the fear: growth always triggers identity friction.

Final Thoughts

Growing a fitness business — or any business — is never just about tactics.
It’s not just about "posting more" or "getting better at sales."
It’s about who you become while you do those things.

And sometimes, the real work isn’t in doing more.
It’s in feeling safe enough to do what you already know you need to do.

If you’re battling fear right now, you're not broken.
You're human.
But you owe it to yourself — and the people you can help — to figure out what’s actually holding you back...and start moving through it.

The longer you stay afraid, the longer the people who need you will keep searching.
So take the next step, however small.
Your future clients are waiting.